Ann P. Topmiller, the heart behind Jumping the Septic Tank: Tales from the Snark Side, grew up in a bustling Indianapolis household with seven siblings, where chaos was a daily guest. From swiping Halloween candy to dodging the hooves of Ebony Rex, a cranky stallion, Ann learned to navigate life with quick wit and a knack for trouble. Her stories—like mistaking Worcestershire sauce for an itch remedy or surviving a friend’s septic tank dive—sparkle with humor and nostalgia, capturing the messy joy of family life.

Her adventures didn’t stop at childhood. Ann panned for gold in Indiana creeks, hunted fossils, and once grew a potent strain of “Giggle Weed” with her partner, Lisa. Each tale, whether of paint-splattered sibling wars or enduring her father’s dubious “surgery,” reflects the love and laughter that defined her youth. Ann’s snarky storytelling, shaped by years of entertaining her Facebook fans, brings every moment to life with vivid detail.

This book is a tribute to her siblings—Steve, Marita, Mary, Mike, Vickie, Molly, and Pat—and her niece, Brittany, who urged Ann to preserve these tales. Her partner of 35 years, Lisa, played editor and cheerleader, helping Ann share her stories with the world. Despite hearing loss and scars from childhood mishaps, Ann’s humor remains sharp, turning life’s chaos into cherished memories.

Jumping the Septic Tank invites you to laugh at the absurdities of growing up, from candy thefts to rogue horses. Ann’s tales remind us to embrace our own wild, snarky moments, holding tight to the stories that make us who we are. Her book is a celebration of family, mischief, and the enduring power of a good laugh.