JUMPING THE SEPTIC TANK
TALES FROM THE SNARK SIDE
Join Ann P. Topmiller on a wild ride through her true tales of childhood chaos, sibling shenanigans, and quirky adventures, bursting with humor and heart. From septic tank leaps to outwitting candy thieves, Ann’s stories capture the messy, loving madness of growing up Topmiller.
About the Book
JUMPING THE SEPTIC TANK
TALES FROM THE SNARK SIDE
Jumping the Septic Tank: Tales from the Snark Side is Ann P. Topmiller’s hilarious collection of mostly true stories, rooted in her Indiana childhood with seven siblings. From dodging a venomous copperhead in her shorts to sparking a paint fight that left her family’s fence—and her siblings—splattered, Ann’s tales are packed with snark and nostalgia. Dedicated to her siblings, niece Brittany, and her Facebook fans who urged her to write, this book relives moments like the “Giggle Weed” experiment and surviving her father’s makeshift surgery. Ann’s sharp wit and vivid storytelling turn every mishap into a laugh-out-loud memory, celebrating the chaos and love of a big, rowdy family.
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About The Author
ANN TOPMILLER
Ann P. Topmiller is a storyteller with a mischievous grin and a knack for finding humor in mayhem. Raised on Indianapolis’s south side with seven siblings, she mastered candy bartering, chore-dodging, and taming an ornery horse named Ebony Rex. Her adventures range from panning for gold in Indiana creeks to growing a legendary strain of “Giggle Weed” with her partner, Lisa. Ann’s stories, honed for years on Facebook, burst with the chaos and warmth of family life. Now living more lawfully—except for a slight speeding habit—she dedicates this book to her siblings, niece Brittany, and Lisa, her partner of 35 years. Ann’s tales are a heartfelt nod to the snarky moments that make life unforgettable.
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